Man, am I a bad blogger....

I can't believe I can't keep up with this.  Life is flying by, and I'm so busy that I'm not even writing it down.  Truth be told, I ran into some technical issues posting pictures, which turned into an excuse to not post.  I turned around, and it's been months since I posted. Not good....but I decided that Mother's Day would be my time to start again....writing letters to my kids about what they are up to, and what they mean to me today.

Jonah Samuel

You learned to ski this year....and you loved it!  We were not surprised at all....you had no fear, and would point your little skis straight down the mountain.  You loved your red helmet with flames on it, and were so proud to go over the jumps with Daddy.  I, of course, was scared to death when you took off.  Daddy, of course, was super proud.  I continue to be amazed at you.  You are 110% boy, but have the most tender heart of anyone I know.  You hug everyone you see, consider everyone an instant friend, and don't have an intentional bad bone in your body.  You take up for your friends, and you protect your sister.  Sure, she might have had enough sometimes, but you are the best big brother around.  You play fiercely, and love even more fiercely.  You bring money to me all by yourself to take to church.  You want to please me and Daddy, and you are super excited to start Kindergarten in just a few month.  This is already difficult for me, and I have already cried many tears over it.  It seems like yesterday that you made me a mommy, and I quit working to stay home with you.  How can my time with you at home already be over?  It breaks my heart....You are silly, funny, inquisitive, strong-willed, loving, independent, athletic, and precious to me.

Ainsley Faith

Girl, you are something!  You constantly keep us amazed....and shaking our heads! I can't even remember what our family was like without you.  But, I totally get you.  You do something that no one else understands, but I do.  You have an opinion about everything, and let it be known.  You are like your brother in that you love fiercely.  You take nothing from him, but you love him to your core.  You squeal with delight when Daddy comes home from work, and you yell for me in the morning when you wake up.  Even though it's earlier than I would like, I secretly love hearing your deep little voice over the monitors.  You love your "mo-piece" (paci), and love to be "out-wise" (outside.)  You are tough on the outside, but extremely tender on the inside.  You love to hug every baby you see, and you will force them to hug you back.  You take up for yourself and others, and you are already a leader somehow.  You are quick to say "sawny" (sorry) when you get in trouble, and you love to laugh.  You love "boooks" and all animals.  I love snuggling you at night (for the 4 seconds that you let me), and taking in your smell.  There is nothing like it!  My independent, super strong-willed, funny, competitive, loving, protective, smart, precious girl....I wanted a daughter so much, and I love our every second together!

There were many days that I didn't know if I would get to hear the name "Mommy."  I still acknowledge that hearing it, even when it's an angry tone, is a blessing and miracle.  The Lord heard our cries, and gave you to us.  Your very names remind us of the journey we went on to find you....and exactly you.  Being a mommy is like letting someone take your heart out of your chest and having to trust that it will be alright.....some days its very difficult to let you climb as high as you would like, or ski as fast as you would like, or jump off things that look too scary to me.  But, when I get past the fear and learn to "hold you loosely," the Lord lets me experience the joy of you and of being a mommy in every sense of the word.  I love you more than you know (at least until you become parents of your own)!  Thank you for making me what I always wanted to be more than anything else--Mommy.